But never have I been a blue calm sea. I have always been a storm.
I’m not dead yet, just in a state of rapid decay, who isn’t?
― Charles Bukowski, Pulp
I sit before flowers
hoping they will train me in the art
of opening up
I stand on mountain tops believing
that avalanches will teach me to let go
but I am here to learn.
People will kill you over time, and how they’ll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like “be realistic”.
Oli just gave me a hug which was nice because I really wanted one and he didn’t even know that and now I have his aftershave or something on my onesie and I smell so good and it reminds me of hugs so yay comfort and long term sort of hug.
I felt a tremendous distance between me and everything real.
Amsterdam - Daughter
Is this called living or something else?
I will play ‘She’ for the rest of my life. I love that song, and I think it has aged well with me. ‘Basket Case’ too, for the opposite reason - it’s about other people now. When I look at people as we play that song, they’re having their own moment. At that point, I’m the audience.
That’s the problem with losing yourself. You try to make everything feel comfortable that you disappear more and more.
― Eine weise Frau, die ich kennengelernt habe. (via herztsunami